my last words.

thanks for showing me the way to love when my heart has been closed to another girl i lost last yr. though in between, i tried to fall for others girls, none work out e way i wan to cos i dun have that kind of feelings for thm. but till u came along,

i can still remember e 1st time i saw u on cny. words cant describe how happy i m seeing u. its like as though god sent me an angel frm e heavens. though e time we spent in e cab was short, i m very very happy. wat happened subsequently were e best moments that i ever been through in my life. for e a long time, i cld see myself loving someone again. for once, i can willingly do something for someone. i can make e effort again to do something that i really wanted.

remember e time u got drunk in black n wanted me to send u home? i rushed dwn even though i m already in bed. i did it without 2nd thoughts. cos i do not wan anything to happen to u.

i can still recall e times we meet up after school. though we aint doin anything, juz watching u study, i wish time wld juz stop right there for me. i enjoy every single moment with u.

now u r gone, i do not know wat to do. i feel e emptiness inside me again. yes. u might say i will find another girl soon. but, who can give me e feeling u gave me again? i really do not know wat to do right now. i m so used to have u by my side. cos i know at e end of the day there is someone who is willing to hear bout wat happened during e day n i know someone is willing to share my joy n pain.

yes. i do admit i have my flaws. n u cant accept my flaws. but m i really that bad? no 1 is perfect in this world. mayb i m giving u e impression i m rushing things through. but i aint. u said u r not gona get attached till after yr exams. i respect yr decision. i have nvr expected u to be my gf any soon. i juz wan to continue e way things are.

michelle. no matter wat yr decision is, i respect it. n we will be nothing more than just friends. to me, its e greatest blow i ever had. i aint blaming u for at i m feeling. i juz feel u ought to know wat i m feeling now.

now that u r gone. all i can do is to live on the sweet memories n e impression u gave to me. u will always have a place in my heart. frm now on. my heart will closed once again. dont worry. i will be strong. i will stand up on my feet in no time. but it will take some time.

for now my future seems hopeless. for now my heart is weak. but all will mend itself with time,
though the memories will forever be bittersweet. I miss everything about you. your smile, your kiss, your eyes. i know I have to let you go, our love was just a lie. My heart is just a hollow, aching space. it hurts so bad to know my love was nothing but a waste.

goodbye is never an easy thing 2 say,but,it was inevitable dat we would come to this day. it's the hardest thing i have 2 do, and it's killing me 2 let go of u. my mind tells me my emotions aren't true. but my heart cannot deny dat i've fallen 4 u. once again, i've let myself down, now all i do is weep and frown. my dreams are of u holding me in ur tight embrace and the memories i'd wanted are now erased. you've made me feel emotions i've never felt b4, dat's y it's so hard 2 close this loving door. but now, it's time to say good bye,bcoz as always,great things have an end.

we've done our best 2 make things last longer, but things happened and we had 2 say goodbye. this goodbye would not mean forgetting our memories, they are too special to forget. It does not mean forgetting the things in our past that made us both better individuals. we had to say goodbye but I want you to remember this ... you will always have a special place in my heart. for the lasttime, i luv u ..




.I will take this risk and I will dance this dance.
.For to spend my life wondering I cannot chance.
.I will love you quietly and pray fate is kind.
.I will carry these memories with me always.
.Cherished in my heart and in my mind.

something worth reading

i was surfing ard, n chanced upon this site. reading e stories, some how,i find that e story below in e link somehow is able to relate e feelings i m goin thru now. its worth a read. go ahead. dun b shy.
nice read.

yeapz. n i have been reading up quite alot bout capricorns. n they r kind true with regards to yours truly. somehow everything is so similar to wat i think n behave. rememebr e previous post whereby i put up e typical traits of a capricorn guy, it is close to 3/4 true for me. oh well, not only that, i have been reading up e love life of a capricorn guy. n somehow, its still true. wana know me more? go read e horoscopes up. ~cheers~

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oh well, i think i have given up on all those fancy layouts. i will stick to this. it looks better than anything. yeapz.

i m not sure if i wana share it on e blog with u guys as to wat has been happening, i juz feel there isnt a need. cos, for those ppl who r suppose to know, u already know. thanks meijia, jasc(i knew u wldnt disappoint me. we r still frds after last year.), pearlyn(i really appreciate u talking to me even though yr bf was beside u n u were doin yr mask n cldnt really talk properly but still offered to listen to me.) n not to mention those i have talked to also. thanks for all yr time. i m trying to feel much alright, but it seems nothing helps at e moment.

right now i dun wana b like a sore luser which i know some ppl have been labelling me n talking behind my back. i think i will juz have to carry on in my life. me n her r still friends after all. i should be contented with that. so i shant expect more frm her. :)

so, right here n right now, i juz wana say this to u michelle: thanks for everything that u made me gave. its been awhile since i last loved someone so badly. n u can b glad that u r e 2nd 1 that i actually loved. :) right now, our nex journey is to carry on as friends. u can count on me to do that. i will still say those few words i have always been tellin u all e time. i will b yr last support that u will ever need. thats all i wan to say.



let me now share with u guys, e song that i find it very very meaningful.

Hoobastank. The Reason.

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You [x4]

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you